Sunday, September 5, 2010

It Just Takes Time

My Super Little Buddy

Our littlest one is working through a lot for a four year old. I have mentioned his strong will in the past. I know that God will use this "will" for good as he grows. Determination is a wonderful quality. But right now, this determination is fighting what is right and what he wants to do.

I know that you might be thinking that all four year olds do this, but it is clearly different from normal four year old stuff. I can tell that his heart is still trying to decide if this family thing is really what he wants.

Please understand that he definitely loves our family. And as an outside observer, you would say that he is completely "attached." But as his Mommy, I know that his heart is still processing. He is still testing the waters of "trust." He is still trying to see if we mean what we say when we promise to love him forever. How does he do this? In a million subtle ways every day.

Because of his "choices" he has had the opportunity to spend extra time with me. He can be quite frustrated with this arrangement. As I have said before, he wants to do what he wants to do and have fun.

One of his consequences is to sit through big church with Mom and Dad instead of going to class. He has shared in the past that he does not like this, because it is not fun. But over the last few weeks, things have changed.

At home his behavior has sort of stalled. I have become increasingly frustrated with the choices he is making and have felt at a loss to know how to move him to the next level. His behavior has actually gotten worse. Stand-Up Dad and I discuss our options or lack of them and keep praying that God will help him trust us.

Today he sat with us in church. Stand-Up Dad held him during worship and he spent the time during the sermon snuggled up with me. He played with my hair while I rubbed his back and held him close. It felt wonderful to hold him for a solid hour. I don't have that kind of time at home. During the service he asked me if he could make a card when he got home.

Immediately upon entering the house he asked Elsie to help him make a card. The card I received ten minutes later read as follows. Elsie told me that these are his exact words.

Dear Momma, I love you. We love you. I love Mom. I love you and thank you for being a good mom. Little Buddy loves Mom. Hugs and kisses - You're smart. I love being in church with you. I love when you rub me. It feels good. Do you know I love you Mom? I really do. Everybody loves you. I'll never stop loving you. Love, Little Buddy

God knew that I needed this precious card from my precious boy. He is doing a work in his heart. I have to keep trusting and praising Him in the process. It just takes time.

Sweet Momma

1 comment:

Finding Balance mommy said...

I just wanted to let you know that I've really enjoyed watching your adoption journey as well as homeschool times together. We live in Auburn, WA. :-)